When we graduate from high school, most of us assume our worries of bullies are long gone. We finish college and secure a satisfying job that allows us to earn an income that will support our families.
But for many of us, once we settle into our jobs, we find the issue of bullying is still alive and well. The difference between our bullies then and our bullies now is that the “new” bullies are carrying briefcases and cups of coffee. They’re driving new cars and talking on smartphones. And they most likely have influence over the rest of your coworkers.
Every day, some victims of workplace bullies have to take a sedative just to be able to go to work. Other victims spend their lunch hours in the car to avoid the stares and whispers in the employee lunchroom. They take “mental health days” at least once a month and they toss and turn on Sunday nights because they know Monday morning will bring another round of anxiety and stress headaches.
Bullying used to be obvious (being pushed in the schoolyard, being yelled at in the school hallways, etc.), but workplace bullying is usually subtle. A workplace bully may exclude certain co-workers from lunch outings or coffee breaks, or the bully may speak down to their victim during meetings. No matter the tactic used by the bully, it’s up to you to diffuse the situation immediately. Use the Bible as your blueprint on how to handle your offender.
1. Confront the bully in private (calmly)
Matthew 18:15-17 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you.”
Sometimes the person truly means no harm, but it is up to us to let them know how they are making us feel. Be clear about what is bothering you. And if the person laughs it off and continues to bully you, go to your supervisor.
2. Develop a new daily routine
Isaiah 43:19 See, I am doing a new thing!
If you are being excluded from lunch outings, take yourself to lunch! Find a good book of devotion- als to read or go for a walk. Spend time with your Father, who loves you most!
3. Know your worth
Psalm 139:14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made! God made you just as you are, so don’t allow another person’s actions to change how you feel about yourself. The light of God will always outshine the darkness of a bully.
4. Pray for your bully
(Luke 11:4) and forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.
Yes, I know what you’re thinking: “She wants me to PRAY for that #$@%*?” But believe me, prayer works wonders. Pray for peace in their lives. Pray for the love of God to come in and heal their bro- ken hearts. You’ll be amazed to see how God can move in their lives!
Dealing with a workplace bully is never easy, but by addressing the situation immediately, you clear the way for a more peaceful (and productive) work day.
This article first appeared in Lioness Magazine.
Parents of small children definitely recognize this image- but I think even those of us who have grown children (or no children at all) recognize her. You may even hear her famous song “Let it Go” playing in your ear.
For the past few months, I could relate to Elsa. While I experienced great success in parts of my life, other parts seemed froze. Change is hard for me, and sometimes change causes me to freeze in place, unable to make a decision or a next move.
But the other day, a thaw began. It was gradual, but noticable. What did I do to start the thawing process?
Admit/ identify that something is changing, or needs to change. I spent some time in meditation thinking about what was changing in my life that I had no control over.
Make a plan: I wrote down exactly what I wanted to happen over the next year, and then I broke it down into chunks, 4 weeks at a time. Then I broke the weeks down into a daily action plan.
I got busy: Now that I had an action plan, I started to work on my daily tasks, while keeping my 1 year goal in sight.
Change is hard! Especially when we don’t know if the outcome will be in our favor. But if we stay focused and positive, we can begin the “thawing” process much faster than if we allow ourselves to stay frozen.
How do you handle change?
I was recently assigned to set up an informational table at a local event. As I arrived at 7:15 a.m., I was surprised to walk into the gym walked into the gym to find dozens of providers already set up and ready to welcome the incoming clients. Since the doors had not officially opened yet, almost 100 clients were already lining up outside!
I searched for the table that was supposed to be mine, but I didn’t see it. One of the organizers must have noticed my look of dismay, so he asked if he could help me. I told him the name the table should have been under, he looked at his clipboard and said “Oh! Your table is downstairs! Follow me!”
“Okay!” I said as I gathered up my display board, signs, handouts, coffee and bamboo plant (I usually have a plant on my table when I do tabling events. Most organizations have candy. I have a plant.) I know. I'm strange.
I followed the man to the elevator where we traveled one floor down to the basement. “This way!” he said as he made his way down the dimly lit corridor. As we walked further and further I thought: “Am I going to be able to find my way out of here? Should I have dropped breadcrumbs so I can get back to the elevator?” We finally arrived at my assigned table, and once he pointed it out, he disappeared.
The other three providers in the room said hello and asked if I needed help setting up. I thanked them but said I could do it on my own. A few minutes later, I was all set up and ready to go. I had planned to show a slideshow of our volunteers and past events, so I was setting that up on my laptop when a woman blew into the room like a tornado.
“Where is MY table?” she asked the same man who had so joyfully led me downstairs a few minutes earlier.
“Right there,” he said, pointing to right where I was sitting. “You’re taking one half of the table and she (meaning me) is taking the other.”
“WHAT?” she huffed. “First you bring me to a dungeon and then I don’t even have a whole table to myself?”
The man’s face dropped and he turned away from her. “Have a nice day!” he said as he disappeared again.
I immediately stood up and began to move my things to make room for hers. Just as I moved to the end of the table to adjust my laptop, I felt the table moving toward me. The woman was furiously pushing the table over so that she would have more room for her things. What she didn’t know was that the table was literally on its last leg, so it immediately collapsed onto my ankles and feet, sending all of its contents (aka MY STUFF) crashing onto the floor.
My pumpkin Dunkin Donuts coffee? Spilled.
My laptop? On the floor, but luckily it was okay.
My lucky bamboo plant? Crushed and emptied of it’s dirt. It’s little leaves were broken and scattered all over the floor. So much for good luck!
As the table came crashing down on me, the woman gasped. “Oh my GOD! She said. “I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to do that!”
I didn’t respond, because I knew she had pushed the table because she was upset. I don't think anticipated the table falling over. As I began to pick everything, my fellow providers rushed over to help as well.
Camille from City Hall ran to find some lysol wipes to wipe up the dirt.
Corey from the Consumer Affairs office in Boston grabbed paper towels.
Within a few minutes, the table was upright again. The woman didn’t say another word. She simply finished setting up her brochures.
I know she was disappointed about being placed in a basement room when she expected to be placed upstairs where all of the activity was happening. I felt the same way! But instead of huffing and puffing and blowing tables over, I set up my materials and made a few new friends (Namely: Corey and Camille).
A couple of hours after I arrived, one of my volunteers came downstairs and said “What are you doing down here? Your table is supposed to be upstairs!” He helped me pack everything up and then showed me where I could set up upstairs. I was able to spend the rest of the day where all the action was happening! No more basement dwelling for me.
And the women who made all the ruckus? She remained where she complained, and she (nor her table helpers) never left her basement quarters.
What was my lesson in this moment?
Scripture: As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good... — Genesis 50:20(a) NASB:
I hope you have the most amazing weekend ever!
her daddy’s brother was black like coal
like Michelin tires, like tar on blacktops,
draped like midnight, slick like motor oil
dripping hot every night she’d
sleep over with her cousin
onto her cot, breathing
in her ear,
called her babygirl
she never told
just buried it
deep in her heart, promised
one day she’d run so far from black that she’d
never go back
she found and married
a man as white as snow
with skin like porcelain
like angel wings, like vanilla ice cream
just so her kids would be light-bright
with no need for afro sheen
with skinny braids too thin to house clickclack beads,
Blue Magic hair grease
banned from her bathroom cabinets, she promised
she’d run so far from black that she’d
never have to go back,
naming her children
Sarah and Dylan and Meghan and Jack,
the ache to bake cornbread with cracklin’s
ignored the itch in her hands to stand at the kitchen counter cutting collard greens
she secretly hopes her children
will also seek white like she did,
they’ll also have light bright children who one day
won’t need hair grease,
who one day
won’t want chicken fried crisp in Crisco
she hopes to wash the black away, someday.
hopes to wash the black away,
(C) 2017 Crystal Senter-Brown
A prayer for mothers who are parenting alone
Heavenly Father, please bless my sister as she balances motherhood, work, school, church activities and home so perfectly.
Lord help her to build lifelong relationships with Godly people who will lift her up and encourage her instead of tearing her down with blaming nods and looks. Let her know how much you love her!
Give my sister the strength to work hard and the determination to follow the path You have created for her. May she be encouraged to finish school and (if it is Your will) to complete her college degree as well. Make her home comfortable and welcoming to all who visit, and allow it to be peaceful place she can retreat to after a long day.
Lord, please bless her with understanding and patient friends that will encourage her to always do the right thing! If marriage is what she wants for her future, surround her with married couples that will serve as examples of what a lasting and loving marriage looks like.
Lord, please help my sister to be a good steward of the income you have blessed her with. Help her to make smart financial decisions that will allow her to live comfortably, provide for her children and leave a legacy for her family. Help her to be a joyful giver to her church and to her community.
Lord, if marriage is what she wants for her future, help my sister to prepare for the husband YOU have chosen for her and help her to be okay with being alone for now. Help her to focus on raising her children, being a community leader and serving You.
Lord, let my sister know to turn to You for her every need instead of turning to destructive habits such as alcohol, drugs, excessive shopping, self-harm, over-eating or toxic relationships. Help my sister to honor her body as a temple created by You.
And finally, Lord, help my sister to have a healthy and stress-free relationship with her child’s father, even if they are no longer together. May she always be treated with respect by her child’s father and everyone she meets.
In Jesus’ name, Amen
Written by Crystal Senter Brown
A few days ago, my mother called to inform me that she, along with four additional family members, would be coming to visit me for a few days. Her sister has been in an area hospital, and they were coming see her. My heart immediately dropped as I thought about preparing my home for five houseguests.
I have a three bedroom home, so there is plenty of room, but I had no idea where people would sleep, what they would eat, etc. I had visions of perfect rooms and meals I had seen in magazines, and those rooms look nothing like the rooms in my home and the meals didn't look like meals I would serve.
As I sat in my living room, I started to do an inventory of sleeping spaces in my home. Two people could sleep on our pull out sofa, one person could sleep on an air mattress upstairs, and another could sleep on the twin bed in our guestroom. But what about the fifth person? Maybe they could sleep on the chaise lounge?
I had less than 12 hours to prepare for their arrival, and eight of those hours would be spent at work. I spent some time in prayer and asked God to help me to prepare not only my home but also my heart for their arrival.
Then I remembered a scripture I learned many years ago: “Share with the Lordʼs people who are in need. Practice hospitality.” (Romans). We are called to be hospitable to people in need. And my hospitality may look different than someone else's. Everyone knows that I am no Martha Stewart. My towels don't match, and my furniture is outdated.
But none of that matters in the eyes of the Lord. What God wants from us is that we welcome people into our homes with open arms. Cook a meal, prepare a place for them to sleep, and be joyful!
So the next day, when they arrived, we welcome them in! Within an hour or so,my husband had breakfast cooking, and they were beginning to settle in. While they were only here for two days, they seemed to enjoy being in my home. We shared a meal of fried chicken, mac and cheese and coleslaw. And we even had cupcakes to celebrate my mother and uncle’s shared birthdays!
The stress I had felt two days before was gone, and it was replaced with a full heart as we created memories for years to come.
Do you have an opportunity to share your home with someone this summer? Do it! Don't worry about making things perfect, instead ask God to open your heart and allow you to be the host he created you to be!
Honor your father…(as long as he doesn’t ___ or ___ or ____)
Scripture: Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.(Ephesians 6:1)
When Father’s Day rolls around, most of us scramble to find the perfect card. The little ones gather up macaroni to make ties or coffee mugs, and many dads are treated to breakfast in bed or a day out with their family.
But what about the “rolling stone” daddies? Who buys their cards?
Surely not the children they left behind or the mamas they abandoned. I assume they probably spend the day in quiet reflection (or maybe not) but however they spend it is a day that could have been spent making it all right again.
As kids we are so quick to forgive. Someone takes our favorite toy at recess and we may cry about it, but the next day we’re on the see-saw with the same thieving kid. But as we grow our forgiveness “muscle” becomes less flexible. Our bounceback period becomes longer and longer because our feelings are hurt. And in the case of being abandoned by fathers, some of us NEVER recover. In my opinion women have the hardest time with this.
But what if our God showed us the same unforgiving heart? What if after we sinned he turned his back on us? That wouldn’t be cool, right? So why do we think we’re better than our God?
We’ve decided to modify the ten commandments, putting our own “remix” on it by adding to “Honor your father”- “as long as he doesn’t abandon you. Or drink. Or smoke. Or swear. Or have a mistress.” We can’t do that! I’m sure when Moses wrote the commandments, he was not looking for a co-writer. :)
So on this Father’s Day, if your father is living, call him. Bright and early. Tell him you love him. Tell him you forgive him (if you have had a recent argument.) But most of all, celebrate the fact that your earthly father is still around for you to talk to. A lot of people can’t say that.
As a volunteer manager for the past 20 years, there is one thing I know for sure: there is a cycle to volunteer management. And that cycle costs nonprofit and faith-based organizations thousands of hard-earned dollars every single year.
The volunteer recruitment cycle usually looks like this:
1. Recruitment (money is spent on placing ads, creating and posting flyers and staff time)
2. Training (money is spent on training, supplies, food, t-shirt, etc.)
3. Orientation (money is spent on staff time, supplies)
4. Volunteer serves well in their position
5. Volunteer begins to get tired of doing the "same old, same old," or feels burnt out
6. Volunteer quits or just "disappears", leaving a gap that is often filled by a paid staff person
7. Cycle starts all over again at recruitment
But what if there was a way to retain your valuable volunteers, which ultimately saves your organization money?
According to Give Them Something to Smile About, organizations spend up to five times more to develop a new volunteer than to cultivate greater exchanges with existing ones. Nonprofits lose money each time a volunteer decides to depart from a position. In my recent survey of volunteers that left their positions, 72.73% said they were not contacted by the organization to ask why they left their position.
What can a volunteer manager do when a volunteer quits?
1. Reach out to the volunteer and see if you can meet them for coffee (your treat!)
2. If they agree, spend some time during their meeting thanking them for their service! Then ask why they decided to stop volunteering.
3. Come prepared with other volunteer opportunities that may appeal to the volunteer. Maybe they served for the past 3 years as a volunteer on your event committee, but now they would rather serve as a volunteer ambassador who will recruit new volunteers? You never know until you ask!
4. Ask them how you can improve as a volunteer manager. Do they feel supported? Are they placed in the right position? What can you do better?
There will be times where the volunteer simply does not want to volunteer for your organization any longer- and that's okay! But you will be able to re-engage many of the volunteers who have left their positions for various reasons.
“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”
Isaiah 43:19 NIV
Last night I had a dream that I was trying on various types of shoes. Some were pretty high heels, some were flat, some were sneakers. The shoes I was wearing at the beginning of my dreams were old and had holes in them. But the shoes I ended up wearing at the end of the dream were brand new, and very pretty. As I walked in them, my feet hurt a little at first, but once I wore them for a little while, I broke them in.
When I looked up the meaning of my dream in my dream dictionary, it said that dreaming of changing shoes means a big change is coming in my life! This is very true! Lots of changes are happening, and while change can be very scary, I am excited to see what God will do next in my life.
How do you handle change in your life? For me personally, I prefer to know as much about the situation as possible so that I can plan accordingly. But sometimes I don't have any control over the situation, and I have to just trust that God will provide throughout the process. As my grandmother always said, you can't worry if you are praying. So I stay in prayer for God's provision.
I hope that whatever change you are facing is one for the better. And that you trust that God will provide for you no matter what your circumstances are!
For the past few weeks, I have been experiencing being in a holding pattern in my life. There are many changes taking place, but with change comes not only waiting for things to work out the way that God has planned, but also TRUSTING that God will answer your prayers. If I said it was fun, I would be lying.
But this period of waiting has caused me to draw even closer to God. I pray more. I write more. I spend more time being quiet. And I think it has made my faith even stronger!
Remember when Moses was kept hidden for 3 months after he was born? No one saw him. He was literally hidden away (Heb 11:23). But three months later he was floated out onto the river and was discovered and raised by the King’s daughter. The KING’s daughter.
God doesn’t say that everything in our lives will go smoothly. He doesn’t promise to make each transition seamless, either. There will be bumps. There will be disappointments. But we can rest on the knowledge that He will never leave us.
How do you feel? Is your life progressing and moving forward? Or do you feel stuck in a holding pattern? Feel free to comment below!
By faith Moses' parents hid him for three months after he was born, because they saw he was no ordinary child, and they were not afraid of the king's edict. (Hebrews 11:23)
For performing artists (and most people, I believe), social media serves as a highlight reel for our lives. We usually only share the best performances, largest crowds and cutest outfits.
We (usually) don't show the performances where we flub our lines, or the times we perform to an almost-empty room (my smallest audience ever? TWO people).
Well, I wanted to share something very raw with all of you.
Last Friday, I attended the funeral of one of my closest friends. I spent most of the day (and a good part of the entire week) crying. I am absolutely heartbroken over her death, she was only 50 years old and still had so much to do in this life! Any time I cry excessively, I also usually get sick and lose my voice. So of course I ended up with a sinus and ear infection after crying so much.
When I signed up to tell a story on 3/31 at the MOuTH at the Mark Twain House & Museum a few weeks ago, I didn't know the event would fall on the same day we would be laying my friend to rest. Who could have known? But if I say I am going to do something, I am determined to do it. So, after spending the day at her wake, funeral, graveside service and repast, I went home and got myself together so I could drive an hour away to tell my story.
I always practice whenever I am driving to a performance, and as I rehearsed on my way to CT, I realized my voice was leaving! I thought about turning around and driving back home. But I heard Tracy's voice in my head saying "Do it Anyway." So I did.
And I am so glad I went.
I was able to spend 90 minutes listening to stories about first bikes and winning $10,000 in a cookie competition. The theater was packed with people who tell stories and those who enjoy hearing them. I left the Mark Twain House feeling refueled and full of joy.
What did this teach me?
When we are feeling our lowest, just look up. Look for a friend, an open mic, an ice cream partner or a loved one you can talk to. It’s okay to grieve! Just don’t let your grief stop you from doing the things you love to do.
I really want to write a book!
So, you want to write a book? Great! November is your lucky month! But before you begin, here are five tips to help you write like a pro during the month of November! Be sure to register over at NaNoWriMo.org so that your writing will be "official"!
1. Decide what kind of book you want to write
Maybe you want to write a workbook, a self-help book or comic book. Or maybe you want to write a novel, a devotional, or a children's book. Whatever you decide, do it by Nov. 1 so that you can hit the ground running right away!
You may also want to download my writer's guide!
2. Write for at least 30 minutes each day, no matter what!
I know what you're thinking: "I don't have time to write a book." But if you have time to read this post, it means you spend some part of your day online! And we all know how much time social media can take out of our day. So unplug! And use that extra 30 minutes to work on your book!
3. Stick to the basics
We all love a shiny new laptop, right? But you don't need fancy tools to write a book. In fact, all you need is a notebook and a pen or pencil. This will allow you to focus on your writing, and not get distracted with other online stuff.
4. Find your tribe
Reach out to your friends to see who else may be writing a book during the month of November, and then set up time to meet with them in person to write together. Also, check with your local library to see if they are hosting any NaNoWriMo writing workshops or gatherings during the month of November. Meeting other authors will inspire you to write even more!
5. Celebrate on Nov. 30th!
Whether you write 50,000 words, or 500 words, celebrate what you accomplish during the month of November. Each word you write will be more than you would have written had you not done this challenge, so be proud! Celebrate the finish line!
I used to base my decision on whether I attended an event or not on what kind of chairs they had. I knew which venues splurged on "heavy duty" chairs and which ones spent a few dollars as possible.
I was overweight (I still am, just not AS overweight as I was before), so my weight put more stress on chairs than other people would.
This chair is one I used to cringe at when I had to sit in it. I would attempt to "sit light", thinking that would magically make the chair more sturdy, or make my body lighter. But it never failed: the chair would pop and creak, and cause me to have anxiety about whether or not I may end up on the floor at the end of the night.
But not anymore.
I spent the weekend volunteering at an event and they had the chairs I used to hate. When I first sat down, I did my usual "bird on a wire" routine, balancing myself on the edge of the chair. But then, I realized the chair was not popping. It was not creaking. It was holding my weight just fine. So I dropped my bird routine,
relaxed and sat regularly.
I have released quite a bit of weight since March, and this is the first true Non Scale Victory to report!
Do you have a victory to repoet? Share!
For most of my life I have believed that my seed to plant is the seed of the performing arts. I love to see people exposed to painting, dancing, writing, etc for the first time. Even adults! Their eyes light up and suddenly they are in love with creating.
I have been blessed to witness seeds I have planted grow into something that is so amazing! Some of these folks who have experienced workshops or open mics I have hosted are now teaching others how to write a poem, or hosting their own open mics.
But on a bigger scale, I think I can be doing so much more.
In Mark 4:26-28, Jesus is teaching about how God’s kingdom grows and grows once the seed is planted. I want to be a part of kingdom building too! But how? Where?
I know one thing for sure: I want to have a hand in CHANGING LIVES and changing my part of the world. Either through small group facilitation, public speaking, etc. I know God is preparing me for a role that will suit me just fine. But I also know He is making sure my soil is healthy and thriving so that when He plants it in me, what I scatter to the world will also grow.
Do you have a calling to serve? Maybe you were a young single mother but you were able to build a life for you and your children without falling into 'baby-mama drama.’ Or maybe you were a 'troubled’ teenager but now you’re on your way to earning a college degree. Whatever your seed is, God will prepare you to spread it to others who need to hear it.
Think about how you can serve. Pray about it.
And then make a plan to start spreading the seeds!
And he said, “The kingdom of God is as if a man should scatter seed on the ground. He sleeps and rises night and day, and the seed sprouts and grows; he knows not how. Mark 4:26-28
Over 1,000 people were in the room and eyes were on me. At 6 years old, I didn’t care about much beyond what Strawberry Shortcake was up to or what I wanted for my afternoon snack.
But I did know one thing: I loved poetry. I also loved being on stage.
After that Black History Month performance of The Negro Mother by Langston Hughes, I was hooked. I performed every chance I got!
Now I’m a lot older and a lot has changed in my life. I’m a mother. A wife. An employee. An aunt. A best friend. And hundreds of other things. But one thing has remained: I still love poetry and being on stage.
I used to compete in poetry slams and loved the rush I would get when I would win or at least place in the top two or three. But immediately following the slam I would begin to compare myself with other poets. Was I as good as they were?
Did my words flow as smoothly?
Was my stance as confident as theirs?
Even if I was the winner for the night, I still spent a lot of time wondering if I’d ever be a ‘good’ poet, a poet like the ones on Verses and Flow or Def Poetry Jam.
In Galatians 6:4-5 we learn that we are never to compare ourselves with others. No matter what! God made us unique, one of a kind. He didn’t make us to be carbon copies of others. We are called to grow our gifts in order to represent who we are in Christ Jesus. I had it all wrong before, back when I thought my gifts didn’t measure up to the gifts of others. When in reality, I’m the only 'me’ I can be.
Now I accept invitations to perform but it’s no longer about being in the hottest 'poetry spot’ or earning the biggest honorarium (although money is good too!) Instead I put my all into creating and performing what comes from my heart, so that my story and my words can possibly inspire, encourage or maybe even heal another person. I don’t even consider who performs before or after me. All I focus on is ME!
What gifts do you have? Think about it for a moment. Are you a great singer, writer, dancer or painter? Do you like to cook, organize events or visit with others? Whatever your gift is, don’t waste another day without putting it to use. Be the best 'you’ you can be! Don’t worry about how someone else does it, God blessed you with your gift for a reason: to share it with others.
Scripture: Galatians 6:4-5 MSG
Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.
I cook dinner most nights.
After we eat, no matter who cooks, I clean the kitchen.
Some nights I’m tired, and all I want to do is come home and rest. But I am a mother and a wife (both choices I made) and I feel it is my duty to cook dinner (and do the dishes) for my family. I’m old-fashioned that way I guess. Sure, I could insist that my son or my husband cook and clean up after- but I actually don’t mind.
But then there are the OTHER nights.
The nights where my work day stretches well into the evening.
The nights where my ‘people meter’ has been drained to zero and all I want to do is go to bed.
What do I do then? Do I call my personal chef to whip up a four-course meal?
Do I call a maid service to wash the dishes?
Do I throw the dirty dishes against the wall? (Sometimes I DO want to do that!)
No, I stand quietly in prayer, asking God to settle my overwhelmed spirit. Sometimes I even leave the dishes for the next morning, when everything is suddenly new :)
If you are a mother/ wife, do you ask for help from the people who live in your home? What happens when you do? If you’re like me, you probably don’t even ask because when you do, you’re met with moans and groans. Or if they do help, the work is half-done. I don’t have time for that! I’d rather just do it myself.
But by asking God to help with how I am RECEIVING the workload I have ahead of me, I’m able to remain calm without blowing a gasket as I have many times in the past.
We can go to God about anything! We can ask Him for guidance, counseling, healing, strength, you name it! He is the ruler over everything in your life which means he can change anything that is concerning you! No need to waste your breath complaining to friends about how no one helps you, instead go to God and ask Him! He will never leave you feeling overwhelmed, and He will always be there to listen.
All you have to do is ask.
Scripture: Isaiah 30:19 NIV
How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you.
I’m sure you’ve thought it.
Maybe you're going through a rough patch financially, and you don't know how you're going to make ends meet.
Or maybe a close friend is diagnosed with a serious illness.
Or maybe you're watching the news and you see yet another act of violence in our country.
Three words have come to your mind: Where was God?
I used to feel that way too. Until I learned to find the joy during and on the other side of pain.
That overdue light bill still needs to be paid, but I will praise the fact that I have the money to pay it. I will also celebrate that I have heat and lights in my home.
My friend being ill may be hard as well, but I can support him during his illness by letting him know I care and I am available. And if God's answer is that they will not survive their illness? I will celebrate the time God allowed me to have with them.
And those acts of violence we have almost grown numb to hearing about? The countless people gunned down by cops and even the crimes we committ against eachother in our own comminunities? We can use
our voices as for justice!
And why would we think we should live our lives without suffering? Have you thought about how Christ suffered for US? He was beaten and nailed to a cross! But you remember what happened three days later, right? He rose again! And you will, too. This is just a passing moment.
Whenever you are experiencing a rough patch in your life, use the excess energy you’d usually be spending on complaining and worrying and instead use it to pray. Come to God with your requests. He is always there, ready to listen! Turn your pity party into a prayer and praise session, and watch how your circumstances and the way you view them begin to change.
Scripture: 1 Peter 4:12-13 MSG
Friends, when life gets really difficult, don’t jump to the conclusion that God isn’t on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner.
What did your parents teach you about debt? More specifically, what did they teach you about credit cards, student loans, etc. Was your home an environment of ‘plenty?’ Or were shut-off notices, empty pantries and evictions a common occurance?
If your childhood included times of poverty and 'not-enough’, there is a good chance that you don’t make the best decisions when it comes to money. You probably think "Well, as long as I have a car and a place to live, and as long as I’m able to buy the newest tv/games/purse/shoes then I’m doing pretty good!" But if your mailbox is filled with the pretty pastel notices threatening disconnection, or if your credit cards are maxed out, you are NOT living the life God planned for you.
Spend some time reviewing your bills. Not just your household bills, but also car notes, mortgage statements, student loans, etc. Figure out just how much you owe. Then make a plan to begin an aggressive payback. Don’t just pay the 'minimum’ because if you do that, you’ll take forever to pay everything off.
And not only that, your happiness will be reduced with each and every bill you receive. The higher the balance, the less peace you will feel in your heart.
As you create a new spending plan, be sure to get rid of the extras you find yourself spending lots of cash on. Lunch with friends may have to be put on hold for now, as will your daily store-bought coffee. Instead, invite your friend to bring their lunch and take a walk afterward. Fire up the coffee pot at home and make your coffee every morning instead of hitting up your local coffee spot. And if you have children, begin to lead them along the right path to financial security.
I pray that you will have a productive and peaceful week, and that you are able to be a blessing to someone in need. I also pray that your money worries are reduced and that you are able to feel God’s presence in your life with every step you take this week.
God bless you!
Scripture: Psalm 37:21 NIV
The wicked borrow and do not repay.
I used to be a junk food junkie.
If I had a choice, I would have had cake with every meal and a chocolate rice krispie treat before bed every night.
And for a long time, I did just that. Growing up in upper east Tennessee, I spent many days with my grandmother and I enjoyed her big meals of biscuits and gravy, fried chicken and mashed potatoes, etc. After every dinner we would have a slice of cake. Her covered glass cake plate always had a cake in it.
But one day I woke up and realized just how poorly my diet had become. It started with my first airplane trip in many years, when I had to squeeze my “ample” bottom between two people for a four hour flight. That was my “tipping” point.
Because I live such a busy life, for many years I ignored my weight. My extra pounds never interfered with being an awesome mom, finding a wonderful husband, earning two degrees, writing six books, teaching, or receiving a promotion at work. I still had an active social life, too, with every weekend filled with activities with my friends and family.
But eventually I had to own up to the fact that I am getting older, and excess weight has been the cause of early death for many of my family members including my aunt Ella, my grandfather George and my cousin Eugene.
Once I made up my mind to make a change, I cringed at the thought of going to a gym. And while I love being around people, I couldn’t see myself sitting in a weekly meeting surrounded by strangers talking about my food issues. So instead, I talked to God. I asked Him to give me the strength to make this change, and almost immediately I began to feel empowered to make it happen.
Suddenly, I am in control of my life.
Galations 5:22 teaches us that the fruit of the spirit is not eating whatever we want and abusing our bodies. The fruit of the spirit is self-control. It is having the power to make a change to be healthier for ourselves and our children.
I didn’t need a celebrity in skinny jeans to tell me I have the power to change, my Father stepped in and made me realize I could do it on my own.
Maybe your lack of self-control isn’t food-related at all, maybe you shop a little too much or you lose your temper easily with your children. Whatever your issue is, know that God has already given you the strength to overcome it. All you have to do is admit there is a problem and ask for His help.
As you spend some quiet time with our Father today, what are some of the issues you can ask Him to help you with?
I have been a Justice of the Peace for the past 15 years, and 99% of the weddings I have officiated have taken place in a chapel, a conservatory, a park, or someone's home.
So when "J" asked me to officiate her outdoor wedding, I wasn't concerned. She was one of my favorite coworkers and she was marrying the love of her life! But then she added “it’s on top of a mountain” and my heart dropped. She didn’t know this, but I was afraid.
I had been carrying around extra weight for many years. Usually this isn’t a problem, it doesn’t interfere with my daily activities. I can dance and go walking and do what everyone else does. But hiking is something I hadn’t done since I was a teenager.
During the days leading up to the wedding I was my own worst enemy. Over and over I told myself “you’ll NEVER make it to the top of that mountain.” But I went to God and asked Him to give me the strength and the courage to complete the hike.
But the wedding day came and off we went, making our way through the path as we climbed higher and higher up the mountain. An hour later we were at the top! We had such an amazing view we had as I officiated the wedding in the midst of eagles swooping down to greet the bride and groom.
Once the wedding was complete, I thought about how scared I had been the day before. But then I remembed Philippians 4:13, which says: I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
As soon as I realized how scared I was, I immediately went to God in prayer. And now I don't worry when I face something that may have scared me in the past. Even when my heart races, I do it anyway, asking God to help me along the way.
Are you facing a challenge and you don’t know how you’ll make it through? Have you asked God for help?
Mama. Wife. Poet. Teacher. Maniac.